AT THE RACES
TV footage of a race-track appears as the final horses take their place within the starting pen.
TV PRESENTER
(V.O.)
"All of that to look forward to later on, but it’s over now to Peter and John for the start of the third. "
COMMENTATOR
(deadpan, without pausing)
"Thanks very much Anne, you join us at Chepstowe for the 12:15, all the runners in fine form this morning, Second Mortgage the two-to-one favourite here today with an odds-on tie for second place between Cheeky Little Flutter and Don’t Tell The Wife.
- And they’re off! A ravaging start here with eight of the ten runners gaining speed as they fly out of the pen. It’s Family Allowance Blunder in the front, Leftovers For Tea Again in second and No Birthday For Johnny bringing up the rear. Thundering towards the bend, it’s Send In The Bailiffs who sneaks an early lead, Squander The Inheritance not far behind him and Third Failed Marriage set to take the bronze. But coming into the straight now it’s Second Mortgage hammering away down the right-hand side, Broken Dreams following close behind him and Don’t Bet The Farm coming up from the back.
– Oh, but here’s You’ve Won Fuck-All going great guns on the outside, it looks like it’s going to be a close call between the three leaders as we thunder towards the post but it’s Second Mortgage who takes it, Broken Dreams not far behind, and in third place, You’ve… Won… Fuck… All. "
(V.O.)
"All of that to look forward to later on, but it’s over now to Peter and John for the start of the third. "
COMMENTATOR
(deadpan, without pausing)
"Thanks very much Anne, you join us at Chepstowe for the 12:15, all the runners in fine form this morning, Second Mortgage the two-to-one favourite here today with an odds-on tie for second place between Cheeky Little Flutter and Don’t Tell The Wife.
- And they’re off! A ravaging start here with eight of the ten runners gaining speed as they fly out of the pen. It’s Family Allowance Blunder in the front, Leftovers For Tea Again in second and No Birthday For Johnny bringing up the rear. Thundering towards the bend, it’s Send In The Bailiffs who sneaks an early lead, Squander The Inheritance not far behind him and Third Failed Marriage set to take the bronze. But coming into the straight now it’s Second Mortgage hammering away down the right-hand side, Broken Dreams following close behind him and Don’t Bet The Farm coming up from the back.
– Oh, but here’s You’ve Won Fuck-All going great guns on the outside, it looks like it’s going to be a close call between the three leaders as we thunder towards the post but it’s Second Mortgage who takes it, Broken Dreams not far behind, and in third place, You’ve… Won… Fuck… All. "
FIN.
C.C. 25/01/08
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