VIOLENT NIGHT
From: c.columbus@chicagohospitaltrust.org
To: profiling@fbi.gov
SUBJECT: Suspect profile
To whom it may concern,
I am writing in relation to a matter of grave urgency, concerning two patients admitted
to the A&E department of Chicago General Hospital earlier this evening. Despite
being brought in under police custody, the level of violence inflicted upon
these men is honestly among the most horrifying I have encountered within
several decades of working in the medical profession.
Detectives, consultants and diagnosticians alike are currently baffled as to
who – or what – could have caused such an appalling array of injuries. While
the patients themselves remain under strict police supervision, the full list
of impairments we have been able to document thus far includes the following:
* Multiple ribcage fractures and internal cartilage damage from beatings with a
crowbar;
* Innumerable
back and torso injuries caused by a variety of slips, trips and
falls;
*
Puncture wounds to the feet, inflicted by a range of items including glass
ornaments and a large household nail;
*
Air-rifle pellet wounds to the lower groin and forehead;
*
A branding mark to the outer palm, centred around the carpal bones;
* Notable
scorch-marks and bruising to the face in what seems to resemble the outline of
a regular household iron;
*
Third-degree burns to the parietal area of the scalp, evidently inflicted at
close-range by an object of considerable intensity - perhaps even a blow-torch;
*
Glue and feathers liberally applied to the upper body in an act of humiliation
akin to the retribution faced by sectarian terrorists of the 1970s;
*
Blunt-force cranial trauma caused by the sizeable impact of what appears to be a
paint can to the face.
While my colleagues and I continue to work tirelessly in a bid to aid their recovery,
we would greatly appreciate your input as to what kind of a sick-minded
individual would do such a thing, with an obvious view to prevent it from ever happening
again.
Regards,
Dr. Christopher Columbus, M.D.
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From: j.hughes@fbi.gov
To: c.columbus@chicagohospitaltrust.org
RE: Suspect profile
Hi Chris,
Thanks for your email – your message was passed to me by a member of our regional
Field team. I am Special Agent Hughes from the FBI’s profiling unit.
Somewhere in my memory, I seem to recall hearing about this incident on the office
teletype – it certainly does sound like the victims have been subject to a prolonged,
brutal and painful ordeal at the hands of a lone sociopath. I have therefore prepared
the following profile in the hope that it will prove useful to your colleagues
and partners in law enforcement.
It may surprise you to learn that your suspect is most likely an 8-year-old
boy. Severe abandonment issues coupled with an acute lack of parental
supervision will have caused him to act out in a number of highly specific ways,
most notably surrounding the sanctity of his family home. In short, it is his
house, and he has to defend it. (In mitigation, fair warning would
likely have been served upon any intruders, who I imagine would be given to the
count of ten to get their ugly, yella, no-good keisters off his property before
he pumps their guts full of lead. I cannot guarantee, however, that the full
count would have been honoured before hostilities commenced.)
It is highly probable that the suspect will be making the most of his new-found
independence by partaking in a range of activities usually denied to him – specifically,
by eating junk and watching rubbish. It may therefore be worth contacting the
local food delivery services to see if anyone has recently ordered “a lovely
cheese pizza, just for him”. You might also want to check whether staff members
at the local convenience stores have encountered a young man displaying an
evasive and belligerent attitude when questioned as to the whereabouts of his immediate
family. (Him, an eight-year-old? Here? Alone...? I don’t think so.)
It does sound suspiciously like the two gentlemen in question may have fallen victim
to a number of highly avoidable injuries, and indeed might have escaped largely
unscathed were they not prone to being scammed by a kindygartener. Perhaps they
are an example what the French might call “les incompetents”. Either
way, I sincerely hope you manage to identify and apprehend the sadistic little
bastard; God only knows what sort of damage he might be capable of
inflicting were he let loose at this time of year in a major metropolitan area.
Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal...
Sincerely,
John.
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