Showing posts with label short film. Show all posts
Showing posts with label short film. Show all posts

Thursday, 24 November 2011

SHORT FILM: At the Tosche Station [2011]

AT THE TOSCHE STATION

FADE UP:

EXT. LARS HOMESTEAD (TATOOINE) – DAY

Footage from Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope begins to play:

1) LUKE SKYWALKER and UNCLE OWEN standing with their new purchases from the JAWAS’ SANDCRAWLER -


UNCLE OWEN
“Luke, take these two over to the garage, will you?
I want you to have both of them cleaned up before dinner.”

LUKE
“But I was going to the Tosche Station to pick up some power converters...!”

UNCLE OWEN
“You can waste time with your friends when your chores are done.
Now come on, get to it.”

LUKE
(motioning to droids)

“Alright, come on...”


2)
Mournful orchestral music swells as LUKE gazes out on the twin suns of his home planet, before turning away and venturing back to his workshop.


FADE TO:

EXT. TOSCHE STATION – NEXT DAY

Brief establishing shot of the locale: a run-down fuelling garage in the middle of the desert with a large painted sign above it which reads, “TOSCHE STATION”.

INT. TOSCHE STATION – SAME TIME

We observe a bored-looking attendant in his early 30s stood idly flicking through a magazine while leaning over the service counter. He is wearing a light blue work-shirt emblazoned with a sew-on patch stating his name. This is
KLASH RENDARK, the station’s proprietor.

From his perspective, we see a close-up of the station’s APPOINTMENT DIARY. The current day is marked by a ringed note which reads: “LUKE S – pick up power converters”.

Noting this, KLASH picks up the phone and dials a number. We hear the sound of the ANSWERING MACHINE on the other end as a clock ticks impassively in the background.


ANSWERING MACHINE
(V.O.)
“Hi, this is Beru and Owen Lars. We’re not home right now,
but please leave a message after the beep.”


SFX (OVER PHONE): sound of an R2 unit chirping.


KLASH
- Uh, hey there Luke, this is Klash Rendark calling from
the Tosche Station at Anchorhead.


As he speaks, he eyes two large, unwieldy round metal objects taking up a considerable amount of space on one side of the room.


KLASH
I’ve got those two power converters here that you ordered in last week – they’re pretty big and are kind of in the way here, so if you could swing by and pick them up whenever you get the chance, that’d be great. Alright, see you later, buddy – ’bye...


He hangs up the phone and continues reading his magazine.


CUT TO:


EXT. TATOOINE – SAME TIME

More footage from A New Hope, intercut quickly:

1) A TUSKEN RAIDER attacking LUKE before startling at the sound of BEN KENOBI approaching;

2)
LUKE sparking up his father’s lightsaber in BEN’S DWELLING –


BEN
“Not as clumsy or random as a blaster;
an elegant weapon, for a more civilised age...”


3) LUKE running to his speeder as he and BEN observe the damage wrought upon the JAWAS’ SANDCRAWLER -


BEN
“Wait, Luke! It’s too dangerous...!”


4)
LUKE lowering his head sadly as he observes the burning LARS HOMESTEAD.


CUT TO:

INT. TOSCHE STATION - LATER

From
KLASH’s point-of-view, we see a distant billow of black smoke wisping over the horizon as he listens to the telephone’s dial-tone.

At the sound of the R2 unit, he leaves another message.



KLASH
- Uh, yeah, Luke, buddy, Klash again here from over at the Tosche Station. Listen, I know you’re probably tied up reprogramming those moisture vaporators at the moment, but I could really do with you giving me a hand and grabbing these power converters when you get the chance.


From the adjacent room, we hear the voice of his nagging
WIFE.


WIFE
(O.S.)
“KLASH! Did you get rid of those friggin’ eyesores yet...?!”

KLASH
(shielding receiver)
- Just a couple of parsecs, honey...!
(back into phone)
- I mean, I wouldn’t normally badger you about it, but it was quite an expensive item to order in, you know – not the king of thing I can really afford to have lying around, especially since the taxation of trade routes to outlying star systems came into effect. I’ve really put a lot on the line here buddy, so just give me a call, yeah? See ya later...


He hangs up.


CUT TO:

More footage from A New Hope:

1) HAN SOLO joining BEN, LUKE and CHEWBACCA in a darkened booth of the MOS EISLEY CANTINA –


HAN
“Han Solo. I’m captain of the Millennium Falcon.
Chewie here tells me you’re looking for passage to
the Alderaan system...”


2)
The MILLENNIUM FALCON hurtling away from DOCKING BAY 94 while being blasted by STORMTROOPERS;

3)
HAN, CHEWBACCA, BEN and LUKE in the cockpit of the MILLENNIUM FALCON as it is rocked by laser fire -


LUKE
“Why are we still moving towards it?!”

HAN
“We’re caught in a tractor beam, it’s pulling us in!”


4) The MILLENNIUM FALCON being drawn into an open port of the DEATH STAR.


CUT TO:

INT. TOSCHE STATION – SAME TIME

From inside the main service room, we hear the sound of an argument taking place off-screen. Though the door to the adjoining room is closed, we are able to make out the dialogue through the wall:


KLASH
(O.S.)
“I told you, I’ve been calling him but he hasn’t picked up yet!”

WIFE
(O.S.)
“Well that’s just not good enough! It’s almost a week now those things have been hanging round, and I’ve told you before about ordering in expensive parts that never get collected!”

KLASH
(O.S.)
“Honey, I’m trying...!”

WIFE
“How are we going to balance the books again this season with a massive outlay like that lying around? And have you even begun to think about paying the Hutts back for that loan we took out last summer? You know I hate that Rodian bugging me at home...”


CUT TO:

More footage from A New Hope:

1)
LUKE bursting into a DEATH STAR DETENTION CELL in his Stormtrooper outfit to greet PRINCESS LEIA –

LEIA
“Aren't you a little short for a Stormtrooper...?”

LUKE
“Huh? Oh, the uniform!”
(removing helmet)
”I’m Luke Skywalker, I’m here to rescue you!”

LEIA
“You’re who...?”

2) LUKE and LEIA on the broken EXTENSION BRIDGE of a Death Star tunnel as LUKE hooks his utility belt cord onto an outcropping of pipes.

LEIA
(kissing his cheek)
For luck!”


They swing across the abyss and land safely on the other side.

3) HAN and CHEWBACCA in the cockpit of the MILLENNIUM FALCON -


HAN
“Okay, hit it!”


The
FALCON rockets away from the Death Star.


CUT TO:

INT. TOSCHE STATION – LATER

We hear the sound of the clock ticking again as KLASH leans over the service counter boredly thumbing through another magazine. The power converters are still taking up a disproportionate amount of space in the room.


CUT TO:

Footage from A New Hope:

1)
LUKE and HAN in gun turrets of the MILLENNIUM FALCON as TIE-FIGHTERS approach –

LEIA
“Here they come!”


HAN hits a fighter with his laser-cannon and laughs victoriously.


LEIA
“There are still two more of them out there!”


LUKE blasts an incoming TIE-FIGHTER as it approaches front and centre.


CUT TO:

INT. TOSCHE STATION – LATER

KLASH enters the main service room through the residence door, and observes a hand-written note left for him on the counter. It reads: “I’M LEAVING YOU. x ”

The clock ticks impassively in the background as his face slumps in dejection.


CUT TO:

Footage from A New Hope:

1) X-WING PILOTS beginning their assault on the DEATH STAR –


RED LEADER
“All wings report in.”

RED TEN
“Red Ten standing by...”

RED SEVEN
“Red Seven standing by...”

LUKE
“Red Five standing by...


RED LEADER
“Lock S-foils in attack position...”


The
X-WING FIGHTERS descend into the trench of the DEATH STAR.

2)
TIE-FIGHTERS pursuing the various REBEL FIGHTERS through the
DEATH STAR TRENCH -

GOLD LEADER
“I can’t manoeuvre!”

GOLD FIVE
“Stay on target...”

GOLD LEADER
“We’re too close!”

GOLD FIVE
“Stay on target...”

GOLD LEADER
“Loosen up!"


He is blasted to smithereens by a pursuing TIE-FIGHTER.


CUT TO:

INT. TOSCHE STATION – KLASH’S KITCHEN

The kitchen is an unholy mess, with dirty dishes and empty food containers strewn around at random. An unshaven, dishevelled-looking KLASH sits at the dining table in his vest and pants, dejectedly sipping from a glass of blue milk.

A large WOMP RAT scurries through the room, stopping to nibble at some discarded food on the floor.


KLASH
- GET...!

CUT TO:

Footage from A New Hope:

1) DARTH VADER ricocheting in his TIE-FIGHTER cockpit as he is spun off course by HAN in the MILLENNIUM FALCON -


VADER
“What - ?!”

HAN
“Yeeeeeeaaah-hooo! You’re all clear, kid,
now let’s blow this thing and go home!”


LUKE concentrates on the advancing exhaust port and fires his torpedoes.


2) The DEATH STAR explodes in a blistering supernova as the remaining REBEL FIGHTERS pull away.


CUT TO:

EXT. TOSCHE STATION – SAME TIME

A broken-looking KLASH locks the dilapidated station behind him as he wanders outside. He hangs a sign on the door which says “OUT OF BUSINESS” and begins to mope away.

As he passes the two large power converters – bundled haphazardly outside the main station window with a sign next to them which reads
“PLEASE HELP YOURSELF” - he is distracted by the faint sound of a muffled commotion off-screen.

He looks up at the sky, observes the remnants of a large explosion somewhere off in the distance, and dejectedly trudges away.

FIN.

C.C. 23/11/11

Tuesday, 23 August 2011

SHORT FILM: Dack [2011]

Dack

FADE UP:

EXT. YAVIN 4 - DAY

From atop an air tower, we see a REBEL WATCHMAN monitor an X-Wing Fighter as it comes in to land.

CUT TO:

EXT. REBEL GROUND BASE – SAME TIME

Establishing shot of a hidden structure obscured by foliage. A sign above the large metal panel door reads: REBEL ALLIANCE TRAINING CAMP.

INT. BARRACKS – SAME TIME

A group of new RECRUITS wearing orange flight uniforms are lined up in rows while a grizzled-looking REBEL SERGEANT, 50, struts alongside them barking commands.

REBEL SERGEANT
Please do not think that just because we have destroyed the Death Star, we can afford to be complacent. The Empire is yet to be defeated. Mark my words, the Imperial Starfleet will be back, and in greater numbers. I am Gunnery Sergeant Rieekan. I am hard, but I am fair. You will not like me. But the things I teach you WILL save your life in aerial combat. IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?!

RECRUITS
(in unison)
SIR, YES, SIR!


One particularly insubordinate young recruit – DACK – pipes up from towards the end of the line.

DACK
- Sir, whatever, sir...!

There is silence.

REBEL SERGEANT
Who said that?
(outraged)
Who said that?!


He struts over to the smirking DACK and barks in his face.

REBEL SERGEANT
What’s your name, pilot?!

DACK
Private Dack, sir!

REBEL SERGEANT
You’re in need of a serious lesson in discipline and teamwork, Dack!

DACK
Yeah - whatever. I could take on the whole Empire myself...

REBEL SERGEANT
You’ve got an attitude problem, pilot! You’re all washed up! Now drop to the floor and give me twenty, all of you!

RECRUITS
(in unison)
SIR, YES, SIR!


DACK scoffs cockily as he does so.

CUT TO:

INT. TRAINING SCHOOL – WEEKS LATER

Rows of RECRUITS sit in their regulation orange uniforms listening to the same REBEL SERGEANT giving a lecture. He is stood in front of a holographic projection which depicts an attack formation.

REBEL SERGEANT
Now, today’s formation is Attack Pattern Delta. This is a particularly useful strategy when engaging in air-to-ground combat in hostile terrain.

In amongst the team of recruits, we see DACK and a FRIEND messing about playing ‘Knuckles’ while he speaks.

REBEL SERGEANT
- DACK!!! What have I told you about paying attention in class?! What was I just talking about?

DACK
I dunno. Some stupid formation or other...

REBEL SERGEANT
(pointing with lecture aid)
Attack – Pattern – Delta.

DACK
(scoffing)
Yeah. Attack Pattern Lame, more like...

REBEL SERGEANT
Get out, Dack! Get out! And wipe that grin off your face...!

DACK exits, smirking nonchalantly.

CUT TO:

INT. FLIGHT SIMULATOR CENTRE - WEEKS LATER


The
REBEL SERGEANT patrols several rows of mini-simulators, observing the various pilots’ prowess.

REBEL SERGEANT
Now, steady... steady...

We see DACK recklessly manoeuvring his craft.


REBEL SERGEANT

DACK! What have I told you about having no approach vector?! You’re not set! What happens if you have a malfunction in fire control?! And have you even begun to learn how to use that harpoon and tow cable...?!

DACK
- Yeah, whatever, Serge...!
(turning to CO-PILOT)
Like I’m ever going to need to fly a Snowspeeder on Yavin 4...


FADE TO:

EXT.
BATTLE OF HOTH – MONTHS LATER

Footage from The Empire Strikes Back.

INT. LUKE SKYWALKER’S SNOWSPEEDER COCKPIT - DAY

LUKE
(into comlink)
Alright boys, keep tight now...

DACK
(panicking)
Luke, I have no approach vector. I’m not set!

LUKE
Steady, Dack... Attack Pattern Delta. Go now!


EXT. HOTH – BATTLEFIELD

Luke’s Snowspeeder heads straight for the viewport of an AT-AT Walker and fires its lasers. The walker fires a volley at the approaching Snowspeeders, forcing them to bank to the right.

INT. LUKE’S SNOWSPEEDER COCKPIT – SAME TIME

LUKE
That armour’s too strong for blasters!
(into comlink)

Rogue Group, use your harpoons and tow cables! Go for the legs, it might be our only chance of stopping them!
(to DACK)
Alright, stand by, Dack.


DACK notices a blinking light on his dashboard.

DACK
Luke, we’ve got a malfunction in fire control. I’ll have to cut in the auxiliary!

LUKE
Just hang on!
(taking fire)
Hang on, Dack. Get ready to fire that tow cable.


DACK struggles to set up his harpoon gun.

EXT. HOTH BATTLEFIELD

Rogue Leader and another Snowspeeder fly in tight formation towards the walker as explosions burst all around them. The craft is suddenly rocked by a volley of laser fire.

INT. LUKE’S SNOWSPEEDER COCKPIT – SAME TIME

LUKE turns round to see if DACK is alright. We see his limp frame slumped against the control panel.

LUKE
Dack...? DACK...!


Suddenly, the speeder is rocked by a huge explosion.
Amid sparks and electrical current, the craft hurtles headlong into the snow.


FIN.



C.C. 23/08/11

Sunday, 12 June 2011

SHORT FILM: I'm Batman [2009]

I'm Batman

FADE UP:

INT. OFFICE - DAY

ANGLE - a typically nondescript corporate working environment.

SIDE ANGLE – slow zoom in on KEVIN DAWSON, a mousy-looking office worker in his late-20s. He wears glasses and a short-sleeved shirt & tie combo most probably chosen by his mother.

FRONT ANGLE - while computer keyboards clack away in the background, KEVIN gazes through a line of superhero action figures blue-tacked to the ledge of his cubicle as he gazes at an incredibly BEAUTIFUL GIRL across the office.

ANGLE – the BEAUTIFUL GIRL doesn’t notice his lovelorn gaze.

ANGLE – KEVIN’s concentration is broken by two Jock-like, bullying MALE COLLEAGUES who appear behind him in designer suits & ties.


COLLEAGUE #1
- Yeah, dream on, Dorkson!

KEVIN
(flustered, backtracking)

Um... I don’t know what you’re...

COLLEAGUE #2
As if. She’s way out of your league, man. You’re, like, ten rungs down the ladder on that food-chain. You’re not even fit to ask her the time of day, Dorkson...

KEVIN
Um, it’s, it’s
Dawson, or, or Kevin, I...

COLLEAGUE #2
Yeah, whatever, Dorkson... did you finish that report yet?

KEVIN
Um... I’m not quite done imputing all the data, but I’ll be finished by three.

COLLEAGUE #1
Better make it one, buddy - we needed it, like, yesterday...

KEVIN
I’ll try.

COLLEAGUE #2
You’ll do it, pal. Or we’ll see your ass in the parking lot after work...

COLLEAGUE #1
Yeah. Got your little action figures there, Dorkson...?


He flicks a figurine of Batman off the ledge and the pair laughs to themselves as they walk away.

ANGLE - a humiliated KEVIN gingerly ambles round to the other side of the desk and stoops to pick up the action figure. He steals an embarrassed glance at the BEAUTIFUL GIRL...

ANGLE ON BEAUTIFUL GIRL – again, she doesn’t notice him.

CUT TO:

INT. LUNCH ROOM - LATER

KEVIN sits by himself eating a packed lunch (again, most likely prepared for him by his mother). He is reading a comic-book.

C.U. – the panels of the comic. We cut from one static frame to the next as Batman defeats another nemesis to the sound of action-hero sound effects.

ANGLE – KEVIN smiles quietly to himself.

CUT TO:

INT. OFFICE – LATER

KEVIN returns to his workstation and is about to sit down as we cut to:

C.U. – a piece of string tied to the base of his swivel chair.

ANGLE – we see the two MALE COLLEAGUES yank the string from across the office, causing it to rip away just as KEVIN moves to sit down.

FRONT ANGLE – KEVIN falls backwards onto the floor.

ANGLE – the two MALE COLLEAGUES laugh wildly as they observe his pratfall.


COLLEAGUE #1
Watch yourself there, Dorkson...

COLLEAGUE #2
You
wanna watch it, mate, he might set Superman on you...


ANGLE – an embarrassed KEVIN picks himself up off the floor and moves to retrieve his chair, glancing over in the direction of the BEAUTIFUL GIRL.

ANGLE – the BEAUTIFUL GIRL glances up for the briefest of moments, then goes back to her work.

ANGLE – a clearly upset KEVIN retakes his place at his desk and attempts to keep his head down. His colleagues’ laughter fades to an echo as we cut to:

INT. KEVIN’S BEDROOM – LATE NIGHT

KEVIN is lying in bed in the darkened room, absent-mindedly playing with a torch which projects the Batman insignia onto the ceiling. He flicks the button on and off as he watches it appear, then disappear.

ANGLE on KEVIN - Danny Elfman’s Batman Theme creeps onto the soundtrack as he stares up at the ceiling.

SLOW ZOOM ON CEILING – the logo continues to project in the dark;

C.U. ON KEVIN – his eyes thin slightly as he gazes up at the image;

C.U. ON CEILING – the logo continues to project on the roof;

C.U. ON KEVIN – a moment of epiphany.

C.U. ON CEILING - tight in on the projected logo.

The music then blares to life as we cut to the following shots in rapid succession, enhanced by exaggerated sound effects:

C.U. – a pair of pyjama bottoms covered with the Batman logo are swiftly pulled up over a pair of similarly-decorated boxer shorts;

C.U. – two socks featuring the Batman logo are quickly pulled up over the ankles of the pyjamas;

C.U. – two quick shots of a pair of black Converse All-Stars covered in the Batman logo being pulled on and the laces tightened;

C.U. – a T-shirt with the Batman logo is swiftly pulled down over his chest;

C.U. – a dressing gown featuring a large Batman insignia on the back is pulled on and straightened defiantly;

C.U. – two black leather gloves are quickly pulled on;

C.U. – a rather rubbish imitation of the Batman mask is pulled down over his face.

We then cut to a slowly retreating frontal angle which reveals, in unnecessarily moody lighting, the sheer ridiculousness of his costume: he is covered in Batman paraphernalia from head to toe.

CUT TO:

EXT. KEVIN’S HOUSE – MOMENTS LATER

C.U. – two quick cuts to fins being attached to the top of his Suzuki Alto;

C.U. – car door slamming;

C.U. – gear-stick being engaged;

C.U. – wheels spinning and smoke hissing from tyres;

ANGLE – the back of his car as it pulls away into the night.

Music comes to a triumphant end.

CUT TO:

EXT. STREET – LATE NIGHT

A vulnerable and nervous-looking young WOMAN walks along the street, the sound of her heels echoing eerily against the pavement.

ANGLE - as she passes an ALLEYWAY, something stirs behind her and she is suddenly grabbed from behind by a HOODLUM who covers her mouth and drags her with him.

ANGLE – the HOODLUM pins her against the alley wall, covering her mouth as she attempts to scream. He holds a knife to her throat.


HOODLUM
Don’t make a sound. Give me your purse and all your jewellery.


The
WOMAN thrashes in protest, but he pushes the knife further into her neck.

HOODLUM
Just try me, sweetheart...

At that moment, a rope with several knots tied in it appears at the side of them.


HOODLUM
(confused)

What the hell...?


Still dressed as Batman,
KEVIN ploddingly abseils down the rope and eventually jumps down onto the floor. While the perplexed HOODLUM and WOMAN look on, KEVIN walks up to the HOODLUM, pushes him weakly and slaps him lightly across the face. Stunned, he releases the WOMAN.


HOODLUM
I’m... I’m sorry, I don’t...


The
WOMAN beats a hasty retreat behind him.

REVERSE ANGLE - the HOODLUM doesn’t notice her leave, instead staring in bewilderment as KEVIN walks past him to the end of the alley.

HOODLUM
Who are you?

ANGLE ON KEVIN:

KEVIN
I’m Batman.


Music strikes to life: Elliot Goldenthal’s
Batman Overture.

KEVIN holds his fist out like Superman in flight and triumphantly runs away, leaving the dumbfounded HOODLUM staring after him in bemusement.

The music continues as we cut to BATMAN MONTAGE:

EXT. ROOFTOP – KEVIN girly-slaps repeatedly as he advances towards another stunned THUG, who backs away in confusion.

EXT. BUILDINGS – KEVIN swings into view on a rope, before awkwardly swinging backwards and dangling precariously in mid-air.

EXT. STREET – KEVIN thwarts an attempted mugging by throwing a frisbee at another hapless THUG.

EXT. STREET - a POLICE OFFICER and his cuffed CAPTIVE both look stunned as they stare up at the top of a nearby building. The shadow of KEVIN holds out a triumphant fist and runs away into the night.

CUT TO:

INT. OFFICE - DAY

The music suddenly ceases as we return to everyday life. KEVIN is introvertedly filling out a Spreadsheet at his desk. He looks around nervously as he is startled by some bawdy laughter from the two MALE COLLEAGUES in a conference room.

Attempting to settle back into work, he becomes distracted again by the sight of the BEAUTIFUL GIRL across the room. She is unwrapping her lunch at her desk; she takes a slow bite of an apple and gently wipes away a drop of juice that runs down from the side of her mouth.

ANGLE ON KEVIN – he continues to gaze longingly in her direction, trying not to be noticed.

ANGLE ON BEAUTIFUL GIRL – she opens a small carton of milk, holds it to her mouth and drinks it down.

C.U. on her lips as she pulls the carton away - she runs her tongue slowly over her top lip, before absent-mindedly biting her lower lip.

ANGLE ON KEVIN – he stares intently at her.

ANGLE ON BEAUTIFUL GIRL - she happens to glance over in his direction.

ANGLE ON KEVIN – he looks away quickly in embarrassment, before glancing back up again for just enough time to catch her gaze.

C.U. – the BEAUTIFUL GIRL’s eyes as she looks over at him.

ANGLE on KEVIN – he quickly looks away again.

CUT TO:

SECOND BATMAN MONTAGE – NIGHT

Danny Elfman’s Batman Theme jumps to life again as we cut between the following shots:

EXT. ALLEY – from an upward angle, we see KEVIN’s dressing gown billow dramatically as he descends, before cutting to him flapping about on top of a THUG as he wrestles him from behind.

SPINNING NEWSPAPER – “JUSTICE COMES TO WAKEFIELD!”

EXT. STREET - KEVIN’s legs pedal desperately in an attempt to gain forward momentum as he zips awkwardly along an aerial line.

SPINNING NEWSPAPER – “CRIME RATE FALLS! Masked avenger saves city!”

C.U. – side angle as he slaps a THUG’S FACE lightly.

ANGLE – the THUG hurtles through the air unnecessarily.

C.U. – reverse angle as ANOTHER THUG’S FACE is slapped from the other side by Kevin’s leather glove.

ANGLE – the THUG again goes flying.

C.U. – front angle on THUG’S FACE as he takes a quick one-two-three slap on opposite cheeks.

SPINNING NEWSPAPER – “VIGILANTE STRIKES AGAIN!”

EXT. ALLEYWAY – the music dips slightly as a scruffy-looking THUG looks on in amusement while his friend wrestles with a distressed-looking DAMSEL.


THUG #1
Come on, baby, you and I are going to have some fun!

DAMSEL
(screaming)

- HELP ME!


ANGLE – KEVIN’s Suzuki Alto screeches into view and brakes to a halt.


THUG #2
It’s Batman!

THUG #1
Let’s get out of here!


KEVIN steps out of the car and walks towards them. As they run away down the alley, KEVIN picks up a nearby piece of scrunched-up trash and throws it after them.


THUG #1
(in the distance)

God help us...!

KEVIN
(to
DAMSEL)
Sorry about that, ma’am.

He turns to leave.

DAMSEL
- Wait!

She grabs him and kisses him passionately. He fumbles awkwardly before she releases him and he moves back towards his vehicle.

DAMSEL
- Call me!

KEVIN
(beat)
Is it the car?


He motions to the crappy-looking Suzuki Alto.

KEVIN
Chicks love the car.

C.U. – door slamming.

C.U. - keys turning in ignition.

C.U. - exhaust pipe sputtering.

C.U. – wheel spinning.

ANGLE – the car pulls away.

ANGLE – the WOMAN’s impressed face: wowee, zowee!

Music ends as we cut to:

INT. OFFICE - DAY

FRONT ANGLE - KEVIN is staring forlornly once again at the oblivious BEAUTIFUL GIRL over the ledge of his cubicle. His view is suddenly blocked by the backs of his MALE COLLEAGUES as they step in front of him.

REVERSE ANGLE – KEVIN’s P-O-V looking up:


COLLEAGUE #1
(holding up a sprig of holly)

Hey, Dorkson. Bringing your mistletoe to the office party tonight?

COLLEAGUE #2
(sneering, motioning across office)

Yeah. Maybe that “special someone” ’ll let you get to first base...

COLLEAGUE #1
(glancing over at her)

Ha! As if. Better get in line, son – there won’t be anything left by the time we’ve finished with her!

COLLEAGUE #2
(knocking over all his figurines)

Catch you later, Dorkson...


ANGLE ON KEVIN – he looks down in embarrassment as they leave, then glances over at the BEAUTIFUL GIRL.

ANGLE ON BEAUTIFUL GIRL – her image gradually becomes a blur as we fade to:

EXT. OFFICE PARKING LOT - NIGHT

The lights are on in the building upstairs, and the sound of a party can be heard emanating from inside.

The two MALE COLLEAGUES emerge from the premises with two tipsy-looking women on their arms.

WOMAN #1
I feel funny...

MALE COLLEAGUE #1
Oh, that’s just the mix of the punch, love, nothing to worry about...


He looks over at
MALE COLLEAGUE #2 and winks knowingly at him. They share a look of smug recognition.

WOMAN #2
(woozily)
Why was mine blue?!
(playfully)

Are you trying something...?!

MALE COLLEAGUE #2
Ladies! As if we would ever seek to exploit your dignity. Now! Let’s see what’s underneath that Gucci...

WOMAN #1
(brushing him off)

I don’t feel well...

MALE COLLEAGUE #1
(to his friend)

Well, I feel just fine...

WOMAN #2
Wait... what’s that...?


The Batman Overture strikes to life as a shape appears in the shadows: KEVIN dressed as Batman. The WOMEN skitter away as the two MALE COLLEAGUES strain to make out the image.

MALE COLLEAGUE #2
Is that... Dorkson...?!

MALE COLLEAGUE #1
Dorkson?! What are you doing here? And why are you dressed in your pyjamas?!

KEVIN
I’m not Dorkson. I’m Batman. And I’m here to take out the trash...


Just as he reaches for a plastic gun on his utility belt, we hear the cracking of a whip.

VOICE
(O.S.)

- Wait.

ANGLE – we pan from the floor up as we see a female FIGURE crouched in a squatting position. She is dressed in a fairly risible approximation of the Catwoman costume, and is holding a twig with a long piece of string attached to it. She lifts her head slightly so that we can see her mouth, but not the rest of her masked face.


CATWOMAN
These bozos are mine.


She awkwardly cartwheels and makes various failed attempts to back-flip towards the two
COLLEAGUES, flailing her makeshift whip around all the while. They back away as she approaches, not quite knowing what to make of the situation as she hits both of them repeatedly with it.


COLLEAGUE #1
Ow, that... that stings! Stop it!

COLLEAGUE #2
Ow! That really hurts!

COLLEAGUE #1
Stop it, you’re – ruining my shirt! Oh, God, let’s get out of here!

COLLEAGUE #2
Let’s never talk of this.
(running away)

You too, Dorkson! Code of silence! Amongst men, and all that...?!


ANGLE ON CATWOMAN as she watches them leave.



CATWOMAN
- Meow.


She cartwheels awkwardly back towards
KEVIN and they stand facing each other. Her face is still partially obscured by the shadows.


KEVIN
- Who are you?

CATWOMAN
I’m Catwoman. Who are you?

KEVIN
I’m Batman.

CATWOMAN
(beat)

...Cool.


There is a brief pause as they stare at each other, before she lowers her face slightly into the light and we finally see her eyes purring playfully up at him from beneath her mask: they are clearly those of the
BEAUTIFUL GIRL from the office.

She licks her top lip slowly, then smiles as she coyly bites her lower lip at him.

C.U. on KEVIN as BATMAN – his eyes light up, and the sides of his mouth curl into a smile of recognition.

CUT TO:

MISTY BLUE BACKDROP

Danny Elfman’s reprise of the Batman Theme starts up.

In slow motion, we see the silhouettes of the makeshift BATMAN and CATWOMAN running towards the camera. His dressing gown flaps gracelessly in the breeze and his mask wobbles on top of his head as he advances; she falters halfway as she attempts another awkward cartwheel.

CUT TO BLACK.

Roll credits.

End.

C.C. 29/11/09