SHORT: We Didn't Start the Fire [2023]

 WE DIDN’T START THE FIRE
- "Celebrating" 13 years of disastrous Tory rule -

David Cameron on a mission, has to form a coalition
Nicky Clegg: misplaced ambition – ends up at Facebook.
George Osborne, austerity, funding slashed to Nth degree
No NHS, no libraries - you all can get to fuck.

Operation Yewtree, Queenie Diamond Jubilee
Army drummer Lee Rigby, Farage and UKIP.
Cameron fucked a pig’s head, Georgie blarting, Thatcher dead
Record-buyers sing instead: ding-dong to the witch.

Asylum policy mismanaged, billboards touting racist language,
Milliband eats bacon sandwich, Labour at a disadvantage,
Scottish pride has gained momentum, Independence Referendum,
AV vote a rude addendum, takes the piss and fucking then some…!

We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
No, we didn’t light it but we’re trying to fight it…

Jo Cox murder, knife crime, BNP on Question Time
David Cameron resigns after Brexit stink.
Beast from East flies off the handle, Amber Rudd and Windrush scandal
Churchill statue sprayed by vandals: 10 years in the clink.

Hammond and Theresa May, governing in shades in grey
Fields of wheat and naughty japes, charisma of a goat.
Invoke Article 50, Grenfell public inquiry
Waning May authority – take it to a vote.

Puts faith in democracy, loses her majority,
Corbyn internet for free, best call in the DUP,
Boris rides in for the steal, he knows how the country feels,
Oven-ready Brexit deal: plate of shit for every meal…!

We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
No, we didn’t light it but we’re trying to fight it…

Covid-19 lung pandemic, inequality systemic
Partygate shows lies endemic – stick that in yer pipe.
Government have lost control, panic buying loo roll
Wankers topple 5G poles, anti-vaccine tripe.

Captain Tom and Black Lives Matter, FIFA chiefs indict Sepp Blatter
Public confidence in tatters – country gone to shit.
Daily briefing, “Next slide please”, Matt Hancock, no PPE
Cummings notes bluebells lovely – gets away with it.

Boris takes us all for fools, claims he never broke the rules,
Sewage spills and crumbling schools, irate workers downing tools,
Obfuscation and fake news, Trump declares election coup,
Cranks the volume, turns the screw, MAGA muppets storm the pews…!

We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
No, we didn’t light it but we’re trying to fight it…

Boris exits in disgrace, Lizzie Truss soon takes his place
Premiership lasts 40 days – hapless twat rebuffed.
Did the maths and somehow fudged it, Kwasi Kwarteng, silly budget
Middle-class will soon begrudge it – mortgages are stuffed.

GDP not kept afloat, blame the migrants, stop the boats
Rishi grabs it by the throat – wife does not pay tax.
Syria conflict, Prevent, ISIS, major cost of living crisis
Claims Ukraine war drove up prices – notice the Dead Cat.

Braverman, Priti Patel, we’ve entered Seventh Circle Hell
Rwanda flights? They might as well – what a pair of pricks.
Nadine Dorries peerage row, fuck that fucking awful cow
How’s she get her damehood now? Couldn’t give a fig.

Chris Pincher virility, Rees-Mogg no humility,
Massive instability, drowning in futility,
Country laid out on the floor, don’t blame us if you’re now poor,
“It’s Putin’s illegal war” – I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE…!

We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
No, we didn’t light it but we’re trying to fight it…

We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
But when we are gone
It will just burn on and on and on… 

C.C. 30/6/23

(With thanks to Andy Sutton -
and apologies to Billy Joel)